As parents, we often find ourselves pulled in many directions—especially during those chaotic mornings getting the kids ready for school. But what if I told you there’s a way to transform that hectic rush into a moment of connection and peace? This is where mindfulness can become a powerful ally. Mindfulness, at its core, means being present in the moment, fully immersed in the now. It’s about letting go of the distractions of what happened yesterday or the anxieties of tomorrow and simply being with what is.
When we’re with our children, however, being in the moment isn’t always easy. We’re often caught up in thoughts of what we need to teach them, how we want them to behave, or what we’re afraid they might do wrong. We’re so focused on the future—on ensuring they become disciplined, organised, and successful—that we forget to just be with them in the here and now. And when they don’t meet these expectations, our fears can surface, leading to stress, frustration, and that all-too-familiar feeling of losing our temper. This can feel especially intense during moments like the school run, where time is tight, and everyone seems to be moving in slow motion.
But what if there was another way to approach these moments? What if, instead of rushing through the motions, we could bring a sense of calm, presence, and connection to the school run? Here are five mindful steps to help transform your mornings from stressful to serene.
1. Prepare with Intention the Night Before
Mindfulness begins well before the school run starts. Setting yourself and your children up for success the night before can make mornings smoother and more enjoyable. This could mean encouraging your kids to pack their school bags, lay out their clothes, and even set their alarms on their own. If they learn to be more independent, they’ll feel a sense of ownership over their routines.
It’s easy to feel stressed when you’re doing everything for them. So, allow them the space to take responsibility. Keep essentials—shoes, jackets, backpacks—by the door, and consider setting timers for breakfast or getting out of the house. Turn it into a game that everyone can follow. These practical steps are important, but remember, how you approach them is key. If your mind is already in the future, worrying about potential delays or missed deadlines, your stress will be contagious.
And here’s an important part: this time is for your children. Don’t rush the school run worrying about being late to work, the gym, or a meeting. Once your children walk through those school gates, your time begins. But the time you’re with them is theirs—allow it to be fully dedicated to them.
2. Release the Need for Perfection
As parents, there’s often an unspoken pressure to do everything just right. We want our children to be punctual, disciplined, and organised, and we measure our own success by these standards. But here’s the truth: if things don’t go according to plan, it doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent. Sometimes, life moves slower than we’d like, and that’s okay.
Release the fear of things going wrong. If your child is late, they’ll face the natural consequences at school. This isn’t a reflection of your abilities as a parent but rather an opportunity for them to learn responsibility. Mindful parenting is about trusting the process and embracing the messiness of life without judgment.
Remember, there is nothing to fear. No matter how much we stress, no matter what we do, our children will eventually grow up and navigate their lives in their own way. They’ll carry with them the joy or the stress of these moments—not the outcome of whether they were late once or twice. Give them joy instead of stress.
3. Create Space for Joy in the Chaos
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush and forget to enjoy the precious moments with your children. The early mornings, sleepy faces, and shared time together are fleeting—they grow up faster than we realise. Rather than dreading the hustle of getting them out the door, shift your mindset to gratitude. You are experiencing a chapter of your life that, though challenging, is filled with moments you’ll miss one day.
Take a deep breath. Smile at your child, even when they’re dragging their feet. Be present with them in these tiny moments, and see if it doesn’t shift the energy of the entire morning.
4. Be Flexible, Not Rigid
Every morning is different. Some days your kids might be up and ready before you are, while other days they might feel sluggish, emotional, or unmotivated. Avoid labelling them as “lazy” or “forgetful.” Instead, meet them where they are each day with fresh eyes. When we label our children based on past behaviour, we limit their potential to grow and change.
Similarly, allow enough time in the morning for everything, but don’t over-plan. Too much time can lead to boredom, while too little can create panic. Adjust as necessary, without being too attached to any single routine. This flexibility will reduce stress and allow for a more harmonious morning.
5. Let Go So They Can Step Up
When we, as parents, care too much, we often unknowingly take on all the responsibility, leaving our children to rely on us for everything. But if we can release some of that control, our children will step up to the plate. By letting go of micromanaging every detail, you give your kids the chance to take responsibility for their actions.
It’s important to remember that this process takes time. Your children won’t become perfect at getting ready overnight, and that’s okay. Be patient with them and with yourself. Don’t judge yourself when they make mistakes, and don’t panic when things don’t go smoothly. Just like any skill, learning independence takes time and consistency.
Balance is key. You don’t want them to feel abandoned, but rather empowered to take on their own morning routine. This not only fosters independence but also helps reduce the emotional weight we carry as parents.
Mindful Moments During the School Run
Once everyone’s out the door, the school run itself can be a mindful experience. There’s no need for forced conversation if everyone’s craving silence. Sometimes, playing a favourite playlist of songs can turn the drive into something your children look forward to. This small ritual can lower tension and create a sense of calm and joy.
After school, resist the urge to interrogate. Let them unwind and process their day at their own pace. Instead of peppering them with questions, share a little about your own day. Allow the conversation to flow naturally, without pressure. By doing so, you create a safe and open space for them to connect without feeling overwhelmed.
In Closing: Mindfulness is About Presence, Not Perfection
Mindful parenting doesn’t mean you’ll have perfectly calm mornings every day—it’s not about perfection, but about being present. It’s about embracing every part of the journey without judgment, whether it’s a peaceful drive or a chaotic scramble out the door. And most importantly, it’s about staying connected with your children in each of these moments, no matter how small.
Every school run is an opportunity to practice being in the now. So take a deep breath, release the need for everything to go perfectly, and enjoy the moments you have with your children. They’ll be grown before you know it. And when they look back, they won’t remember whether they were always on time or perfectly organised—they’ll remember the joy or the stress. Choose joy.
By Lorena Bernal
Article published in Motherhood The Real Deal magazine (UK)
